


Finnish Shopping

by AngelsFallFirst



Category: Nightwish
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsFallFirst/pseuds/AngelsFallFirst





	Finnish Shopping

Tuomas Holopainen was sitting in the backside of the tour bus, just staring around miserably. He hated everything right now, the tour, the guys, the bus, Tarja ...  
No, he couldn't hate Tarja.  
But oh, how he hated Marcelo, this slimy bag of scum, this man who had intruded their lives so rudely. Tuomas had been so close to his Tarja, until this useless Argentine had appeared and Tarja had falled for him and his charm ... Well, she couldn't have fallen for him because of his looks, that was sure. Fact was, he was here, holding her in his arms, listening to her talking ...  
It hurt Tuomas, it hurt so much. He had been the one to hold her and listen to her, not that tiny man.  
Tuomas looked away, trying to fix another spot in the bus, but all he could hear or see was Emppu playing some tunes on the guitar, Tarja's giggles, the video game Marco was playing, Tarja's laugh, ...  
"I'm sick," Tuomas said and suddenly all eyes were on him. "Can we stop? I need fresh air."  
Jukka asked Ewo to stop, and a few minutes later, Tuomas was walking along the street of the city, a shopping lane, as he noticed. He looked at a group of girls, finding them beautiful, but not as beautiful as -  
"Tuo, wait!"  
Tuomas' heart almost stopped as he recognised the voice of his beloved and only a second later, she had taken his hand. Tuomas noticed how one of the girls, who had looked at him before, quickly looked away again.  
"I need a new hair colour," Tarja said. "This brown is just too boring ... I thought of black again."  
"What about red?" Tuomas suddenly asked.  
"Red??" Tarja looked startled.  
"Yeah - I like redheads." Tuomas winked and cheered internally as Tarja blushed. If she agreed ...  
"Okay, let's go to the hairdresser!" Tarja decided.

The hairdresser had to send them away, asking them to come again in an hour.  
"So, now what shall we do?" Tuomas asked, and suddenly Tarja had grabbed his hand again and pulled him to a store.  
"I've seen some leather stuff there!" she told him excitedly and Tuomas chuckled. She was so cute.  
So the two dark haired entered the store, Tarja immediately being in her element. Tuomas smiled as he saw her saying "Ohhhh" because of almost every leather thing she found, his heart stopping beating for a moment though when he saw that she was carrying a corset to the dressing room over all those layers of leather. And his heart stared pounding even faster as she threw a look at him and said,  
"Come on, Tuomas. I need some advice with those."

She was so close. The dressing room wasn't big and she stood there, her back pressed against his body. She studied her front side in the mirror and Tuomas did the same over her shoulder.  
Tuomas had never seen so much of her skin before. She was half naked, why did she just undress while he was here??  
"I think I'll take that," Tarja said. "Or what do you say? Take a look at the fabric, is that satin?"  
Tuomas stroke over her bra. "That's cotton," he said with a dry mouth.  
"Ah," Tarja said and put off the bra, Tuomas quickly looking away. Tarja said nothing, she just took the corset to try it on. "You can look again?"  
Tuomas had to fight with himself, he had to hold back his erection so madly. But he couldn't get hard now, not now.  
He succeeded with thinking of Marcelo - the thought of him made the Finn go sad and angry at once. "Beautiful," he said, not showing a sign of admiration.  
"Don't you think my boobs are a little small for that?" Tarja asked with pink cheeks and Tuomas chuckled weakly.  
"Your boobs are perfect," he only commented and Tarja blushed more.  
"I'll buy it," she muttered and Tuomas suddenly got an idea.   
"I'll be back soon," he promised and left the dressing room, collecting other sexy things all around the shop, thongs, nightgowns, leather pants and more lacy bras. Tarja laughed as he came back and gave the things to her with a grin.  
"Well, you're my fashion advisor, so I'll try them on."  
Tuomas was happy - he could see her in a bra again. And this time he didn't look away when she undressed herself so bluntly.  
"I told you, your boobs are perfect," he commented with a smile.  
They were.  
"Thank you," Tarja said with another blush and looked at herself in the mirror. "Not too small ...?"  
"Not at all," Tuomas said and dared to put a hand on her waist.  
She didn't react, not even as Tuomas travelled upwards.  
But he pulled away before his hand touched the side of her breast. He couldn't do that. She had a boyfriend.  
So he kept looking at her only, fantasising about touching her, kissing her, loving her ...  
He wasn't sure why Tarja didn't seem to care that he saw her naked, but then he came to the conclusion that she wasn't as shy as she pretended. She probably knew how incredibly stunning she was and she probably enjoyed playing with his sanity.  
After they were done, they left the shop. Tarja was carrying a bag filled with her stuff and both Tarja and Tuomas were wearing their new red, similar leather jacket.  
"Come, I'll take that from you," Tuomas said after a while of walking and then he took the bag from her.  
"Thank you," Tarja said, not a little bit surprised. He had been like that to her since she could remember. Tarja decided to talk to him soon, he couldn't keep it a secret from her forever! He had seen her naked today, he needed to admit!  
They entered the saloon of the hairdresser again, and got led to two chairs next to each other.  
The hairdresser, a small woman with purple hair, talked pretty funny English. A little helpless she asked them with colour they wanted, and Tarja told her that both of them wanted red - the same shade of red.  
The hairdresser called a second one, a young girl, obviously the apprentice. While the apprentice started colouring Tarja's hair, the small hairdresser did he same with Tuomas', happily talking with him about everything and nothing. Tuomas threw some pleading looks at Tarja every now and then, who only laughed about him.  
Why didn't he just tell her? She knew about it already anyway ...  
Tarja smiled and winked at him, Tuomas only rolling his eyes in reply.  
And an hour later they left the saloon, both their hair and jackets flaming red.  
"What an annoying woman," Tuomas groaned and Tarja smiled.  
"I guess she was interested in you."  
"Yeah? Well, I wasn't," Tuomas muttered.  
"I know ..." Tarja said gently and took Tuomas' hand. "Come with me, we have to talk."  
Tuomas' heart stood still. She knew? She needed to talk?  
Tarja led him to a park nearby and they sat down.  
For a while no one of them said a word until Tarja softly spoke,  
"Why have you never told me?"  
"What?" Tuomas asked weakly. She knew ...  
"Don't make me say it, Tuo," Tarja sighed. "Your secret ... You could have told me. I'm your best friend, did you think I'd turn away from you?"  
"So you know it," Tuomas whispered. His heart was aching - she knew what he felt for her and let him see her naked anyway.  
"Of course I know it," Tarja said gently and touched Tuomas' shoulder. "You're my best friend, I noticed it ..."  
Tuomas kneaded his hands. She knew it and still hurt him by being with Marcelo. "Why did you never tell me?"  
"I was afraid of your reaction," Tuomas said softly and avoided her look. "Afraid that you didn't want to be my friend anymore ..."  
"Oh, Tuo ..." Tarja whispered and pulled him against her, hugging him tightly. "No matter what - you'll be my best friend forever. Heard me? I love you, Tuo."  
Tuomas' heart stood still for a moment - she loved him? Like a friend or ...?  
"I love you too," Tuomas said quietly, hoping that she had meant it in the same way as him. His hopes got crushed though when she only patted his shoulder, smiling at him.   
"You can tell me everything, okay?" she said and kissed his forehead. "Don't be afraid of telling anyone, I'm there to support you, okay?"  
Her words confused Tuomas, but he nodded wordlessly.  
She knew he loved her and she had kissed him. She wasn't done with breaking his heart yet.

For a few weeks nothing changed in their relationship, much to Tuomas' dismay. Tarja still played happy family with Marcelo, while he watched her with puppy eyes, every time she walked by. But one thing had changed:  
Tarja hugged him everyday, kissed his cheeks every now and then, told him that she loved him almost every day. Marcelo had of course noticed this but he hadn't said something about it. He hadn't even looked jealous! Tuomas was confused. Also he was hurt, now Tarja finally knew about his feelings and kissed him every day? What was wrong?  
They had arrived in Spain a few hours ago, and while Tuomas was walking along the shore, Tarja spent her time with Marcelo in a bar ...  
"Tuo!"  
Again she surprised him with grabbing his hand and suddenly she was next to him, smiling up to him.  
"Hi, baby," Tuomas said and Tarja giggled.  
"Do you want to be alone?"  
"No, it's okay ..." Tuomas replied softly and squeezed her hand. "I'm glad you're here."  
They walked for a few minutes, none of them saying a word. The sun was slowly setting and the people vanishing from the beach slowly, and soon Tarja and Tuomas were alone.  
"Come ..." Tuomas said with a grin and pulled Tarja towards the water.  
"Wait!" Tarja squealed. "No, I don't want my dress to get wet!"  
"Then undress," Tuomas laughed, falling silent when Tarja really started pulling off her dress.  
She was completely naked now, wading into the water. "It's so warm!" Tarja shouted. "What about you? Are you coming?"  
*I'll be soon cumming,* Tuomas thought and peeled off his shirt. He didn't get rid of his pants, what if he got a boner? No, he couldn't risk that, after all Tarja was completely naked.  
The young Finn splashed some water at Tuomas as he got closer, while Tuomas was only speechless. In the moonlight she looked like a fantasy creature ... Her skin shone white and blue and her red hair was reflecting the moonlight.  
"Beautiful," Tuomas whispered, admiring the love of his life. "You're so beautiful, Tarja."  
"Naked limbs reflecting from the moon," Tarja joked and formed two horns with her fingers, putting her metal hands into the air. Tuomas laughed.  
"Quite awesome how fine you are with your body," he said and got closer. His eyes were drawn to a small mole on one of her breasts, one he had never been able to see before.  
"Why would I be ashamed?" Tarja asked. "Especially with you ... I mean ..."  
She blushed and Tuomas looked at her confused. What? What did she mean?  
Tarja didn't go on, instead of that she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his lips.  
Tuomas closed his eyes, but she didn't go further - she was wading back to the shore.  
"Wait!" This time Tuomas called her, and when he reached her, he crashed his lips on hers.  
Tarja gasped but parted her lips, eager to let his tongue enter.  
And he did, soon letting their tongues fight, moaning and gasping filling the air.  
Tarja was confused. Why was he doing this?  
Tuomas was pleased, maybe she loved him too ...  
Everything was fine until Tarja pushed him away. "Why did you do this?" she asked, not sounding pissed though. She sounded a little ... sad? "I told you I wouldn't judge you ..."  
"Judge me?" This time Tuomas was even more confused.  
Tarja caressed his cheek. "Good night," she whispered and picked up her clothes, vanishing in one of the showers of the beach.  
Tuomas looked after her - he was too confused.

Tarja rolled over and smiled at her boyfriend. She had already gotten used to the fact he was there when she woke up - and there he was, smiling at her as well.  
"Good morning, linda," he said.  
Tarja had needed a while until she had understood that linda meant beauty, in his language it wasn't a name. He always called her things like linda, bella, hermosa or bonita, those words sounded so much more beautiful than the simple 'kaunis' she got called by Tuomas.  
... Tuomas.  
Tarja sighed. "Good morning, Marcelo. Listen, you won't like this but I need to go. I really really need to talk to Tuomas. He has to come out of his closet."  
"Alright, go," Marcelo said and Tarja leant down to steal a kiss from him. Then she slipped into a wide shirt with the Metallica logo printed on the front side and her simple blue jeans.  
"I'll be back soon," Tarja promised and rushed out of the room, over to Tuomas' room, knocking at his door crazily.  
Tuomas opened, his sleepy face starting to shine when he saw her. "Tarja!" he said surprised. "Why are you here? Come in!"  
Tarja entered, immediately hugging him. Startled, Tuomas closed the door behind them and hugged her back. "Is something wrong?"  
"I missed you," Tarja said as she let go. "And after what happened yesterday ..." She bit her lip. "I'm worried about you."  
Tuomas stared at the floor. She was worried about him? Why did she kiss him back and now she was worried -? Maybe Marcelo and her were engaged ...? No. Tuomas would kill himself - maybe she knew that something like this would happen, that's why she was worried?  
Tarja cupped his cheeks. "Come out of your closet," she said gently. "Stop hiding. Stop being a fool and tell the guys."  
"The guys?" Tuomas asked, now even more confused than he had been the day before. "I don't see why the guys have something to do with this."  
"Hm," Tarja commented. "Maybe they don't, but still it's not fair that you keep it a secret from them. They'll find out sooner or later like I did and then they could be angry because you didn't tell them."  
Slowly Tuomas started to think that she was talking about something completely different than him but what would she talk about? "Jukka knows," he slowly started.  
"He does?" Tarja asked. "And what does he say?"  
"That I was a fool for not telling you earlier," Tuomas laughed. "Well, now it's too late."  
Now it was Tarja's turn to be confused. Too late? Why would it be too late?  
"Ehm -" Tarja started. "Anyway. I think the guys need to know."  
"Okay, sure, I'll tell them," Tuomas shrugged and threw a shy look at Tarja. "About yesterday ..."  
"Forget it," Tarja said, her cheeks pink. "You don't have to apologise. I get it, you are confused -"  
"Indeed," Tuomas threw in, Tarja taking this as an agreement for his confusion about ... himself. She touched his arm.  
"You're very normal," she said gently. "Believe me. You don't have to feel confused or unsure - it's normal."  
"Okay?" Tuomas said, one eyebrow cocked. What could her strange words mean?  
And why were her eyes filled with so much ... hurt? Sadness? ... Love?  
"What's wrong, Tari?" he whispered and put his hand on her cheek.  
"I just -" Tarja sighed and buried her face in his shirt. "I just have to think of the time when you asked me if I wanted to sing with you ..." *I was so in love with you until I noticed that you couldn't return those feelings ...*  
"Beautiful times," Tuomas agreed. *No Marcelo. I should have kissed you back then, told you how much I love you. But sadly you didn't return those feelings.*  
"Well, time goes by," Tarja sighed and looked up to him.  
And Tuomas smiled and gently laid his lips on hers, this time neither of them deepened it though. Tuomas pulled back after a while and with a soft sigh he said, "I love you so much, Tarja ..."  
"Love you too," Tarja whispered back, the hurt look in her eyes getting worse until she turned her face away, hiding her, from tears wet, face.  
"Hey ..." Tuomas said gently and kissed her tears away. "Why are you crying, Love?"  
"I don't know, it's just - I'm sad ..." Tarja closed her eyes, her heart fluttering when he kissed her eyelids.  
"Don't be. You have a man who loves you - two - and you're a wonderful singer, you have an amazing band and you're the most beautiful woman alive. Where's the problem?"  
Tarja looked at him. "The man I love doesn't love me the same way I love him ..."  
Tuomas didn't reply - he didn't know if he should be angry or happy.  
Happy, because it obviously meant she didn't love Marcelo because Marcelo did love her. And angry because it meant there was someone else. Someone else! Tuomas didn't even think of the possibility that the man who didn't love her like she loved him could be himself - after all she knew how he loved her. Tuomas suddenly noticed that all this thinking wasn't good in the morning. Groaning he rubbed his temples.  
"Tarja - I don't want to sound annoyed or unfriendly but you should acknowledge that you do have a man who loves you more than anything. You know that Marcelo and I aren't exactly best friends but I know that he'll treat you good. I don't know who this new man could be and I guess he's pretty lucky but - I wouldn't risk something if I was you."  
Tarja nodded. "Well - I'll go back to Marcelo then. I'll see you later okay?"  
Tuomas pulled her close, shocked by the sad expression on her face. He kissed her again, gently and longing.  
"See you," he whispered and Tarja sighed.  
"That man by the way ... my feelings for him aren't new at all. He was my first love ..."  
And then she left Tuomas' room, her whole face burning red.

They didn't talk about the incident from the day before again and also they didn't talk about their talk at the hotel room. Tuomas was busy with thinking about who Tarja's new man could be, but Tarja was never looking at someone else than him or her boyfriend. Of course Tuomas wished that she could have feelings for him but he couldn't be the one. Tarja had said that this man didn't love her like she loved him.  
And what if she didn't know? What if she talked about something else all the time?  
About what?  
He needed to come out of the closet - because of what?  
Tuomas placed his beer on the table and stood up. "I'm tired," he announced. "We have a concert tomorrow - I'll sleep a little."  
"Alright, sleep well," Jukka said and the others waved at him too, wishing him a good night.  
Tuomas walked back to his room, already feeling the few cups of beer in his blood. He locked the door and undressed, crawling into his bed and pressing the big pillow against his chest. "Oh, Tarja ..." he whispered and kissed the pillow, already trailing down his hand, placing it over his crotch -  
As suddenly someone knocked.  
Tuomas sat up. "Hello? Who's there?"  
No one answered but then he heard the knock again. It didn't come from the door, it came from the balcony ...  
He squinted his eyes and got a shock when he noticed that it was Tarja standing outside the balcony door. Tuomas got out of his bed and rushed towards the door, opening it.  
"Tarja! What are you doing here?"  
Tarja's face was deep sad and her eyes were wet. "I need you," she said.  
She smelled as if she had had a beer too much.  
"Come in," Tuomas said gently and Tarja passed him, crawling into his bed immediately. Tuomas laid down next to her and embraced her.  
"I need you," she said again. "I don't want to change you but I need you so much it hurts."  
"Do you want to sleep with me?" Tuomas whispered and Tarja nodded.  
"But I'd understand if you said no. I mean, I don't want to change you ..."  
Tuomas silenced her with a kiss.

Their lovemaking was slow and tender, yet full of passion and love. Tuomas tried to lay all his feelings into this beautiful lovemaking, and he could swear that she had felt it.  
"Don't tell Marcelo ..." she begged as she stepped back on the balcony. "And thank you for giving me what I needed ... I know it was hard for you."  
"It wasn't, not at all," Tuomas said and stroke her jawline. "Don't be sad, my beauty." He was lying. It had been hard for him indeed, sleeping with her and knowing it wasn't meant to be. He couldn't even be happy that he had slept with her - the thought that she never would be his was nagging in the backside of his brain and wouldn't leave him alone. She hadn't needed him of all people, she had needed a night full of love and Tuomas had given it to her.  
He dearly hoped that she would acknowledge it.

Tarja turned sadder and sadder.  
Her hair turned back to brown and the darker it got, the sadder got Tarja. One day in October she didn't even come to the rehearsal.  
"I'll drive to her and look if she's okay," Tuomas promised. Tarja always called and told someone of them a reason for her absence. What if something had happened to her?  
Tuomas suddenly got crazy with concern - what if something had really happened? What if she had - no.  
Tuomas immediately jumped into his car and rushed to Tarja's apartment, ran up to the third floor, down to her door and rang the doorbell like a crazy fool.  
He was sick with worry and his heart almost stopped when she opened - her eyes swollen and red.  
"Tuo ..." she croaked and a second later she broke together, sobbing madly.  
"Tari!" Tuomas gasped and entered the apartment. He knelt down and embraced the sobbing woman. "Tari ... Tari, baby, what's wrong??"  
"Marcelo and I broke up," Tarja sobbed and for a moment, Tuomas couldn't hide his happiness.  
"Really?? Why?!"  
Tarja either didn't notice or she simply didn't care about his happy reaction.  
"I ... I told him that I don't love him anymore ... He was so heartbroken and he ... he immediately moved out. He took all his stuff and - and he told me he was sad ... I feel like a monster ..." Tarja grabbed Tuomas' shirt. "When I told him that I was still in love with m-my first love, he called me a fool ... And I know I am a fool, he will never love me ..."  
Tuomas lifted the crying woman into his arms and carried her to the couch. "Oh, Tari," he mumbled. "He'd be a fool if he didn't love you."  
Tarja looked at him. "You think?"  
Tuomas laughed dryly. "If I was the man I'd take you without thinking. I've loved you for years and it hasn't stopped so far, so I doubt it will ever. But it's not me whom you crave for."  
Tarja stared at him, her mouth hanging open. "You - you'd take me without thinking? Did I - did our night ... change you?"  
"Change me?" Tuomas looked confused. She was talking in riddles again.  
"Well ..." Tarja blushed madly and finally wiped her tears away. "Are you straight now?"  
"Straight ... now?" Tuomas asked startled and suddenly bursted into laughter. "Tarja - did you think I'm gay??"  
Tarja stared at him, her face getting redder and redder. "No ...?" she tried and Tuomas laughed even more.  
"I've never been gay," he explained. "Never, Tarja."  
"Oh God!" Tarja groaned and buried her hands in her face. "Oh no! Oh God! How embarrassing! I undressed next to you ... I went into the water naked with you!"  
"I also made love to you." Tuomas couldn't stop laughing. "Why the hell did you think I'm gay??"  
"I don't know," Tarja groaned. "You were always dressed so good, you enjoyed wearing make up, you were always so cute and a little like a lady ..."  
"I'm a sissy, I admit that," Tuomas said and laughed again. "You always wanted me to 'come out of the closet'! And I never knew what you meant with that!"  
"Wait ... What did you mean then?" Tarja suddenly asked.  
"Ehm ..." Tuomas sat down next to her and took her hand, knowing that this was the right and perfect time to tell her. "I was talking about my feelings for you," he said and Tarja smiled gently. Tuomas cupped her face and went on. "I've been in love with you for years. I still have no idea how I could resist you for so long but ... I only asked you to sing with us because I was so madly in love with you and couldn't think of someone else ... I've fallen in love with you the day you joined the choir and Tarja ... I will love you forever. I promise. Seeing you with Marcelo ... it hurt me too much. That's why I was depressed. Not because I wasn't sure about myself." He chuckled again and Tarja grimaced. "I love you so much Tarja and now please tell me ... am I the man? The reason for your breakup? Your first love?"  
Tarja's eyes went soft and she put her hands on his shoulders. "Of course you are. Only you, Tuomas." she whispered and Tuomas leaned forth, capturing her lips, both mumbling the love they felt for each other to the other.  
And they never parted again.

\--- End ---


End file.
